Hi there! 

Welcome to the New Mom Chronicles! 

My name is Kylie, and I am one of the PA Sisters. 

This past year I became a mom! Motherhood is a blessing, and I feel honored that the Lord gave me my baby to raise and know Him. As I reflect on this past year, it has been one mostly filled with joy and love but also that of fear and anxiety. I have caught myself on multiple occasions comparing myself to other moms or Googling in the middle of the night wondering, “Am I doing this right?” I think most moms have had this thought too, especially us newbies! But the Father is dependable and provisional. He has prepared us for this!

There are a few tips and tricks that I wrote down in a Google Drive note along the way, and wanted to share them here. You may not agree with all of these, or have other tips that worked better for you. No worries! My goal is to share my experiences if they are of any help 🙂 However, these are not evidence-based tips or comments, rather they are my own opinion. 

If you plan to breastfeed, I highly suggest you reach out to a lactation consultant.

Breastfeeding, pumping, and bottles

1. If you plan to breastfeed or pump, building your mature milk supply early on is key.  
   1. Milk starts as colostrum, and then after a few days becomes transitional milk. After a few weeks, this turns into mature milk.
   2. Feed or pump at least every 2-3 hours, 4 max (maybe at night) for the first few weeks 
   3. The first few nights with my baby, I breastfed around every 4 hours. I found this led to a delay in my milk coming in. This also led to some baby constipation. It was very stressful!
2. If breastfeeding, offer both sides. 
   1. Someone once told me that the first breast is the dinner, and the second is the dessert. This made a lot of sense to me! 
   2. The foremilk has lots of proteins and less fat, while the hindmilk is more dense in fat. It is important to drain the first side to ensure the baby is getting foremilk and hindmilk. 
3. If you are breastfeeding and plan to pump later, start pumping at 6-8 weeks, and introduce a bottle at least weekly. SKIP this if you’re not planning to pump 🙂
   1. This helps the baby adapt to a bottle if they will need it at some point in the future.  
   2. Offer a little bit after you breastfeed as a “dessert” or replace one feed with a pumping session (would recommend a day feed). Any extra milk you pump can go right into the freezer. Build that stash!!
   3. Pick a bottle nipple that’s good for breastfeeding. This will lead to better latch and therefore increased intake. This leads to more during the day, and therefore less night wakes! 
   4. Pumping bra is the key to success ladies!! This is one I used a lot. 
   5. Wearable pumps don’t maintain or build supply, only the heavy duty ones do (Medela, Spectra, Lansinoh). This took me a while to figure out until I stumbled upon this in lactation consultant research. The wearables don’t draw out milk as effectively. So if the goal is to replace full breastfeeding sessions throughout the day with pumping sessions (i.e., day at work), I probably wouldn’t use these pumps for that. I pumped probably 2-3 more ounces a pump with my S1 Spectra pump versus my Momcozy M9.
      1. Wearables are great for on the go, replacing maybe one feed a day or so 
   6. The fridge TRICK. Oh my goodness, this will save you so much time at work or if you exclusively pump. Especially if you are pumping multiple times in a 24 hour period. To do this you take the pump flange and attached parts off right after you pump and seal them in a silicone or plastic bag (you can lightly wash them with water or not), and stick them in the fridge.
      1. Milk in the fridge lasts 24 hours, so any milk on the pumps does too. Clean every 24 hours. 
      2. I would avoid this in the first 8 weeks, and for preemies; you probably need to clean each time and sterilize every 24 hours in more immune susceptible populations. 
   7. A milk bottle for the fridge (especially if you’re pumping at work) that can hold at least 20 ounces will be needed. 
4. Your baby will get more efficient with breastfeeding, and that’s normal. 
   1. A baby may feed for 20 min each side as a newborn (40 minutes total). After a few months (especially > 6 months), a baby may feed 5-6 the first side, and 2-3 min the other. This doesn’t mean they aren’t eating a lot, they are just more efficient.  
5. If you’re breastfeeding, your body adapts with your baby. 
   1. Once my baby started sleeping 10-12 hours at night, I would wake up and pump half the time (about 10-13 min versus a full 20 minutes) with my Spectra to prevent engorgement. The first night this happened I was awoken with rocks for boobs! Hopefully you can avoid this! Eventually, I could go from 9:30 pm to 6:30 am without issues. It is amazing how we adapt as they do.  
   2. Your body makes more milk when they need more, and less when they need less. 
6. Breastmilk can look weird
   1. If it’s green, you or the baby is probably sick, and that’s okay! 
   2. If you go longer stretches without pumping or feeding, milk will be more watery. That’s the body’s way of hydrating the baby (it’s assuming you haven’t fed the baby in a while). Milk is watery in the morning.
7. Label frozen milk storage if you or your baby is sick. 
   1. This will come in handy later if your baby is sick again. 
   2. It’s okay if the milk looks green! 
   3. i.e., “Mom sick with flu”
8. I would not recommend tummy time within 20 minutes after a feed (<4 mo). 
   1. Several ounces will come up…
9. You don’t need to burp them forever! 
   1. Once they start to sit on their own, around 5-6 months, they can start burp on their own.  
10. When and if you’re ready to wean breastfeeding, I would do this over a long period of time.
    1. This will not be an overnight journey!
    2. It takes time to wean feeds during the day, and especially the feed right before bed. 
    3. I weaned a session a week over the course of a month. I believe this helped avoid mastitis and comforted my baby throughout the process. 
11. Don’t feel rushed about solids. 
    1. Some babies start earlier (around 4 months) and some are later (around 6-7 months). It is up to you and what is best for your baby!
    2. They may not be super interested at first and that’s okay too. My baby wasn’t super interested in food until around 10 months. 
    3. This book is helpful for how and when to start.
12. Avoid honey before the age of 1.
    1. It can be sneaky! Honey is often contained in glazes, cereals, oatmeal, yogurts, nut butters, and baked items. 

Sleeping, naps, and bed time 

13. For middle of the night feeds and diaper changes, have double zipper outfits! 
    1. My goal was to complete a feed and diaper change (in the newborn phase) in about 30-40 min, then eventually ~20 min once they started to feed faster 
    2. Quick diaper changes are important! You want to arouse them enough that they are somewhat awake for the feed, but not too much! 
    3. For boys, watch the pee! 
    4. If they are falling asleep, wake them up a little by gently stroking their cheek, tickling their foot, rubbing their back etc. This ensures they get enough to eat! 
14. “Tanking up” during the day is key for longer stretches at night 
    1. If your baby takes in more during the day, they will likely require less at night
       1. For first 2-3 months, every 2-3 hours during the day can be very helpful
          1. Sometimes a baby may even cluster feed more in the late afternoon or evening (every 1-1.5 hours) 
       2. When a baby’s wake windows are really long, starting around 6-8 months, they start to drop to two naps a day. Feeding at the 2-2.5 hour awake mark (or about 30-45 min before nap time) ensures they still feed every 2.5-2.5 hours, and enough times during the day to “tank up”
    2. This will be very different if they are a few weeks old. Every 2-3 hours is normal! And can be exhausting!
       1. Ensure they stay awake for feeds 
    3. When they start getting distracted, try to find a quiet place to feed. I found this to start to happen around 5 months ago. Even if you or the baby need to take a break and continue feeding a few minutes later that is better than nothing! Filling them up so they can be content is the goal. 
15. Start independent sleep EARLY 
    1. Let your little one fall asleep drowsy when they are about 2-3 months, then fully awake at 3-4 months 
    2. It’s okay if they are talking or a lil fussy before they fall asleep 
    3. Give them time and be patient. If you’re watching on your monitor, you will notice that this might take 15-20 min at first. Eventually it will only take them about 2-8 min to fall asleep. 
    4. This is kind of a good way to avoid sleep training later on, because they know how to console and put themselves to sleep when they wake up at night.
       1. Consoling?? This looks like talking to themselves, thumb or pacifier sucking, scratching at the sheets, playing with their hands, flopping legs up and down (whale-tailing) etc. but not persistently crying. They do these little things to distract or lower the stimulation from their wake window until they get sleepy enough to go to sleep. 
    5. Sometimes, lets say like 4-5 months old, your baby might wake at 40 minutes during a nap, BUT be patient. They might put themselves back to sleep, so don’t rush in. Give them like 5-10 minutes. Unless they are screaming or truly awake, of course!
16. Move your baby to crib when you feel ready 
    1. This is solely your decision!
    2. I started to move our baby to crib in their own room once they started sleeping long stretches and were only feeding 0-1 times per night. I found that my husband and I could enjoy our time together better after we did this. 
17. The last nap of the day sets a baby up for the night
    1. This applies mostly to the 3 – 7 month time period, prior to this their “naps” are around the clock, and after this they drop to two naps. 
    2. It “locks in” the state before bedtime so they aren’t over or under tired 
    3. Do not let this last nap before bed time go longer than 20-40 min. You don’t want it to be the longest nap of the day!
    4. That being said, if your little one doesn’t want to nap for the last nap of the day, just skip it and move bed time up. 
    5. This is the hardest nap of the day. Okay to rock them when they are less than 4 months for this nap, or whatever method to soothe.
18. Sleep pressure is key
    1. This will happen naturally if you keep them up! 
    2. A baby will have more pressure if they are more active (especially >4 mo) during their wake windows
    3. Stretch them as long as they can go before becoming way over tired. 
19. Napping longer one day? Yes I would wake them up to feed! 
    1. To maintain the “tanking up” idea, waking them up when it’s been 2-3.5 hours between feeds (depending on age of the baby) is not a bad thing. This ensures they eat enough during the day. 
    2. I wouldn’t let any one nap go longer than 2 hours during the day, and then check total day sleep time too: too long will lead to night wakes, too little might increase their cortisol and also lead to night wakes. But don’t worry, there’s a good buffer period (typically an hour). So if they sleep 3.5 hours one day and 2.5 another (i.e., 6 months) that’s not going to change their sleep at night, at least in my experience. 
20. If they keep waking up early in the morning (4-5 am), try some tweaks. 
    1. Typically these early morning wakes can be stretched just a little bit longer to hit 6 am (a normal day start time I would say.) 
    2. Might need an earlier bed time – Sounds crazy but shifting from 8 pm to 7 pm was huge for us!! 
    3. You can stretch this brief wake about 30 minutes to a later wake up time (i.e., waking at 5:30 am) by using a paci, patting their butt, or a quick rock. 
    4. Some people may feed at 5:30 am, and put their baby back to sleep, then start the day at 7:30 am. You can do that, although I found my baby didn’t sleep as well at night when I did that, because it was too much sleep! If they woke up early that day and did not go back to sleep, I would start their first first wake window at 5:30 am. Eventually my baby started sleeping longer and longer until 6:30 am without issues because they had the sleep pressure for the whole night from the day prior. But every baby is probably different on this one! 

Other

21. Googling everything is normal. 
    1. Babies breathe weird in newborn stage 
    2. Hiccups are still very common 
    3. Poops are very yellow if breastfeeding 
    4. Spit up is very normal, and happens often
    5. Other babies will do things faster than your baby, don’t panic!
22. If and when they start going to daycare, don’t freak out about the schedule. 
    1. Daycare often helps set schedules!
    2. They will not nap well (typically) and that’s okay. I hope your baby is the anomaly!
       1. I.e., A 5-8 hour wake window might happen…
    3. Sleeping at night probably won’t change!
23. Set boundaries with family and friends early on (or before your delivery)
    1. Unsolicited advice is common, but can be overwhelming! 
    2. Your family might have a difference in opinion, but this is your baby. Set the expectations early on and often!
    3. I realized very quickly that everyone has an opinion about raising their kids. It’s okay if you do something different.
       1. The amount of times I had tears from feeling judged or compared was more than I could have imagined!
24. Feelings are BIG during the postpartum period. 
    1. Postpartum depression and anxiety are common amongst new moms. I am not an angry person, but at times I wanted to scream into a pillow! A newborn does not always fit the schedule, and as someone who is more of a perfectionist, that was hard. But as soon as I started to let things go, I did better. If your feelings start to make it hard for you to enjoy your day, especially if you’re not laughing at what you used to, then seek out help! Your OBGYN or pediatrician may have some local recommendations for you, or can help you get medication if needed.
    2. If you feel anger or tension, set your baby down in the crib (if they are screaming it’s okay for a few minutes!) and go outside for a few minutes to decompress and calm yourself down. This is super normal, and I had to do this several times.
       1. Feeling a new sense of wanting to protect the baby is normal too. 
    3. Don’t feel bad if you feel overwhelmed by the newborn phase. It’s only a phase, and won’t last forever. I had so many people say “I just love the newborn phase, they are the best at that time” and that might be you, but that wasn’t me. I enjoyed them much more after about 4 months, and that’s totally okay!
25. Take time to do things for yourself
    1. Let your spouse or family take care of your baby for 1-2 hours while you do whatever you need to. This will help ‘reset’ the mind and bring peace. 
    2. See your people, and surround yourself with those that make you feel secure, calm, and listened to. 
26. Pray often, and enjoy each and every month. It goes by so fast!

Best,

Kylie

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